Best of Bombay

(The rest of the city has the day off today for elections so I, in the spirit of holidays, am doing no work either.)

I noticed that the past few times I've posted on this blog was to only report negative things about the city. So I figured I should break the mold and write something positive.

In the latest series of nights out, a bunch of us decided to try the IPL Bar Crawl since free entry, a drink on the house and a joyride around South Bombay in an open top double decker bus sounded like something we should try. The cricket match was also going to play on big screens to keep the sports fans happy. We paid 750 a head which covered 1 drink at each place and we were to make 3 stops in all. The Best of Bombay lot that were putting the crawl together were well organized, down to liquor licenses for all of us for the night and red bands to keep us identified. I can imagine keeping the randoms out of the crowd would have been a logistical nightmare for them with the 70 odd people who had signed up for the night.

Our first stop was Henry Thams. Some of us hadn't been there before (not for lack of trying since the last time we went on our own pub hop we walked away having found out that Happy Hours had ended for the night). We were pleasantly surprised to find out that the free drink wasn't the usual pre-mixed sweeter than sugar daiquiri variety they usually serve on ladies' nights. We had a choice of 2 whiskeys (I forget the brands since I tend to tune out at the mention of Whiskey) and Absolut. And to add to the joy, we could avail of the Happy Hours discount that was on. BoB had already earned our praise. Once equipped with our poisons of choice, we looked around taking in the trickling crowd. We duly introduced ourselves to the organizers and discovered how small a world it actually is, since one of them was related to a college junior of ours. The job weary lot of us also promptly asked them to employ us since what they did for a living was a damn sight more fun than drafting agreements (I hear they're hiring right now. Must check the Careers section of their website). While the boys watched the cricket match, Ruma, Alice and I amused ourselves with the free shots they were handing out to women in multi-coloured-blinky-light glasses. Finally they announced the move to the next stop.

We rushed to stand first in line so that we could get seats right up front upstairs on the bus. No real point to being on an open air bus otherwise. In true Indian Railway style, we also reserved seats for the men, since they were taking their own sweet time proceeding to the bus. Once everyone was loaded, we were off to Bootleggers. I have no idea how the driver managed to navigate that behemoth of a vehicle around the narrow lanes of Colaba but he managed, including going the wrong way on the road making 8 cars coming in the opposite direction back up. I'm sure they were muttering all kinds of curses at the big bully of a bus. We also didn't really notice how tall these double deckers were till people at the back started yelling "tree!" and people standing ducked to avoid the branches from merrily lopping off their heads. After a while it just became funny until someone yelled, "seriously guys, trees!" The whole experience was so much fun that Q declared that he wanted to drive a double decker bus when he grew up.

Bootleggers is by far my favourite pub in Bombay. It is non pretentious and plays 80s music that we drunkenly dance to every time. What more can you ask for? Our free drink was a dangerously electric blue concoction but it encouraged our loudly singing along to Go West's King of Wishful Thinking. It also helped that the BoB people were pouring neat Absolut down people's throats. As we left for the next destination, we asked ourselves why we were leaving, just the way we did the last time we were there. Here's a thought. Next time, let's stay.

The second time on the bus was on the lower level because one, we didn't find place upstairs, and two, we were well on our way to being very high. Not the best idea to be swaying around on top of a bus. The ride to Czar at the Intercontinental was amusing to say the least since the bus made frequent halts on Marine Drive and the inhabitants of the bus did a brilliant job of entertaining the curious onlookers. The remixed tracks at Czar weren't really my taste but served well enough for those of us too drunk to care what we were dancing to. By the end of the night, we were happily high and danced out. We collectively collapsed at the Intercontinental coffee shop, as has become somewhat of a tradition now for us and then crawled home by about 4 am.

All in all, it was a really fun night. We may not latch onto every bar crawl that comes our way since we also have our own plans for Lower Parel, where the bus can't enter because of all the flyovers, but it was a good place to begin.

Stop in the name of the Police

Police nakas. I have so far encountered them in this city at nearly every corner and turn I've taken. I know security measures since the attacks have been increased and I'm OK with that. What must be done must be done. But I would really like it if the police actually applied their brains when placing these naka bandis.

First of all, a little more distance between the barricades would be great since maneuvering around them usually requires nothing short of F1 skills for most cars. Thankfully, the modern ones come with power steering but the old taxis find these fairly painful and take an age to negotiate past them, holding up all the traffic on the road.

Secondly, place them strategically! What is the point of having a flyover, which is supposed to help you go past traffic snarls below, if there is a barricade on the flyover itself? At peak office hours that too? Makes the flyover completely redundant is what it does. And who on earth places them at an intersection? There's already a traffic light, which a majority of people follow and therefore, come to a halt at periodic intervals. Sufficient time I think for the cops to check license plates and generally determine whether anyone has that 'suspicious' look happening. But no. They will be innovative and place these things on any stretch of road that strikes their fancy. Nothing like making office commuters really earn their morning coffee at work or dinner at night.

Finally, it would be really fantastic if these barricades actually served a purpose and the police checked the vehicles. I've seen most of them standing around, chatting, drinking chai and generally having a good time. And it's usually not one or two cops. It's an entire mini-van full of them, some even decked out in helmets, bullet proof vests and guns. So not only do they slow down traffic with their slalom race type placement of the barricades, they park the van in the middle of road making the ride even more exciting.

Why, God, why?

Nation State and other hyperbole

In the aftermath of the Bombay terrorist attacks (I refuse to call it 26/11. All terrorist attacks don't get lumped into the same category of events with dates. And this one wasn't a one day only affair), heads are predicted to roll and the politicians are out playing their everlasting games. The Home Minister has put in his papers for his abysmally low performance in keeping terrorists and other nut cases at bay. What he was doing while 5 cities got blown up one by one beats me. Perhaps packing for his move to another country.

The CM was accompanied by his son and a Bollywood persona while inspecting the damage at the Taj, no doubt to enable a full script and dialogue of the events that passed. After all, the Indian masses are just dying (no pun intended) to have the whole horrific incident replayed on a giant screen and watch the Khans take on the lead roles in cine military. What's a little profiteering from tragedy?

NDTV saw Barkha Dutt take on the role of person most likely to be publicly slapped. In 3 days she went from being just annoying to having a FB group being opened asking for her to be gagged. She also encouraged me to write an extremely rude email to NDTV, asking for them, for the sake of all our sanity, take her off air. That's the first time anything has ever gotten me this angry.

What should have been a reality check also resukted in the corporate heads in the city getting together and conjecturing on what can be done to make "our city" a better place. As much as I'm sure Bain and ELP are headed by brilliant businessmen, to have them zoom in for the public relations kill on this issue was nothing short of sickening. People have died. Have some respect!

And finally, the neighbor who is apparently at the root of the entire incident. I know we aren't supposed to generalize and that this is the time to unite and all that jazz. I also know that the faith probably has little to with the nut cases that seem to emerge from that frontier, but at this point I'm finding it pretty hard to believe that they are all innocent. We need to either take action or just let them take over the country. Perhaps then the carnage will stem.

Surreal

Most of you know what's been happening in this city for over 30 hours now. When news first broke on Wednesday night, Alice and I were thankfully already home. And now I am just thanking my stars we didn't head to town or make any plans, as we tend to do on a Wednesday night. It's the whole blowing off steam mid-week thing.

News was coming in bit and pieces and no one was very clear on what exactly had happened. Then we heard about the bomb blasts at Vile Parle, very close to Ruma's place, and the various incidents at VT, Metro cinema (where we go very often), Leopold, and the hotels. I can only tell you how surreal the whole thing felt. Messages were flying back and forth confirming that everyone we knew was OK and calls came in from family and friends abroad. As we watched, places that we frequent were being blown up, friends we knew felt the reverberations of gunfire and blasts in their homes and general mayhem in the city ensued. After a few hours, we went to sleep thinking the situation would be resolved that night only to wake up the next morning to more people being killed, hotels having been destroyed and nothing being resolved.

What was the most pitying fact was that the government machinery had deployed the police, the army, the navy, rapid action forces, anti-terrorist squads, and militia of every shape and size and now, nearly 36 hours later, about 10 people are still holding hostages. A lot probably has to do with the media giving out meticulous reports of how the military operations were being planned and carried out. They reported on which pillar and tree the personnel were hiding behind with startling accuracy, which I'm sure the friends of these suicidal maniacs were faithfully conveying to them. Evidently sense has nothing to do with journalism.

What also struck us as strange were the repeated reports on how 6 Israelis had been taken as hostage. Towards what end? Praying that the Mossad was watching and another Entebe operation could be carried out? Watching the Indian military wringing their hands and carrying out their "final" operation over 12 hours has been nothing short of frustrating. And by the end of yesterday, we were just numbed. With the world watching us fumble with this situation, it's nothing short of a kind invitation to China to declare war already. We clearly don't know what we're doing.

Today dawned to this city bouncing right back into action. Barring South Bombay, where 3 buildings are still under siege, most of the city is back at work and people have resumed normal life. A lot has been said about the resilience of this city and the "Bombay Spirit" and I don't know whether it's a good thing. On the one hand if people resume work, it lets these maniacs know that they haven't got the whole city under their grip and lessens the attention on them. On the other hand, we hear that there are 6 of these mental cases loose in the city with arms. And I get that if you aren't affected directly then you may not feel the actual impact of the situation. But at some point this resilience needs to stop turning into blind recklessness and people need to realize that stuff like this is not OK, and that it's not an everyday occurrence. More importantly, the government really needs to sit up and rethink our security measures.

At this point, I really hope that the god that these people believe in is taking down their names and plans to roast them alive over a spit. Fair trial my foot.

Just a thought

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/09/weekinreview/09giridharadas.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5124&en=ee93ddd123fc1c8f&ex=1383886800&partner=facebook&exprod=facebook

Classic Case

Bombay is the only city I've known where the national anthem plays in the movie halls. And people are forced to stand up for it. It's even more painful when you have to stand through the entire two and half minute rendition of the song that Adlabs has chosen to adopt for its choice of forced patriotism, which is possibly the slowest version in the history of mankind. I've never understood the concept behind it. Do people know that the song was originally written for the erstwhile rulers of the land, who landed on Indian soil to kind of take a tour of the place that they had been ruling? And the country in its infinite wisdom decided to adopt the song as its own. Fine. No issues there. Can't help the idiocy of the ruling governments. But what on earth has possessed the evolution of this anthem rule in the city theatres? Answers anyone? Patriotism is fine for people who have a strain of it. For those of us who don't, it's just painful.

Another brand of it has recently emerged with the city signboards being compulsorily changed to Marathi. Most states have a dual language rule, English and the local language. That way most people understand. But no. We must be completely lunatic and insist that all signboards be changed over. So this has resulted in strange results where ATMS and coffee shops have pasted a plastic Marathi version over the existing English boards to comply with the dictat.

And as if the bursting traffic wasn't enough, the impending Ganapati festival has just thrown all roads into a tizzy. So what would have taken me 30 minutes, maximum, to reach home, took me nearly an hour and a half. Yes, I understand it's a big deal. He is most people's favourite God and all that. But seriously, I wish people would get some perspective. And it's not just this one occassion that begets chaos. It's EVERY festival.

Sometime this city is a small town with large city aspirations. Isn't it time to grow up already?

Mumbai Cricket

Was cleaning up my folder- saw something I had written eons ago and not posted. For no good reason, here is that post.

As always, if I am writing, I am linking my writing to cricket, so my apologies to one and all especially to the contributors on the blog.

For someone who stayed in Bombay for only a year (and hated a majority of that time), it is remarkable that all emphasis in relation to Mumbai cricket is solely on its gully cricket and the honoured (and somewhat famous?) ground that was graced by the presence of Mr. Tendulkar in his formative years. Somehow, no one ever seems to speak about, to glorify and appreciate the other cricket grounds in Bombay.

For a city that has some of the world’s most expensive real estate, it is a testimony to the city’s love of cricket that a substantial stretch of Marine Drive, an area that was recently rated as one of the top 5, most expensive real estate properties in the world, is home to several (with emphasis on several) cricket fields. Forget the Wankhede and the CCI and think of the Railway cricket ground and the Muslim Gymakhana ground (though I am not sure that is exactly what is called).

Be it chilling at Dome or heading to Inox for a movie or to Leo’s for a drink and some beef, every weekend (and maybe even every weekday, though that is something I cant vouch for), it is impossible to travel on Marine Drive without looking to your left (and ignoring the sea on the right!), and feeling jealous of that enthusiastic bunch whose lives are dedicated to playing cricket. Even as Madhu continues to jabber in your ear about her bai or her bhai (I am still not sure if she has the pronunciation right), the sound of wood connecting with leather or the yell of a frustrated bowler or the excitement over a potential chance to run someone out or hold a catch is inescapable!! A remarkable setting for a cricket ground – sky scrapers to the left of it and to the right, the local railway lines behind it and the sea to the South, no further away than a decent hit. With the steady hum of traffic on one of Bombay’s busiest roads, it does make for quite a setting, specially the railway cricket ground floodlit for its evening matches.

What makes it even more remarkable in a city like Bombay (not Mumbai) is that for a city that has no time for anything or anyone, a multitude of people will invariably be seen mulling around, sitting with a cup of tea and a packet of chana and watching the cricket. Like always, everyone has a word of advise, a different fielding position and an enthusiastic mime of how he would have played that shot.

We tried, me and Arka and Khare to play some cricket in Bombay – never did manage to play outside the house. But we did mull about on Marine Drive, with a coke, a cigarette and a packet of chips, with the sea at our backs and cricket in front of us. For all the women that are contributing to this blog, I think the feeling of contentment would be something equivalent to a good days shopping on fashion street!

Rain?

It Bombay and it's the monsoons. Where is the bloody rain? I had heard so many stories of floods and how its only sheets of water during the rainy season here. This year we've had a sum total of 10 days of real, actual, pouring, and 1 day of being flooded in! The rest of the time has gone in some poor excuse for precipitation and cloudy days. The weather has been very pleasant so I'm not complaining about that but where's the water? It all started with much promise and then fizzled out. I'm feeling cheated. The government is actually contemplating cloud seeding to induce rains this year. At this rate Cheerapunji will go right back on top of the list for rainy destinations. Shameful!

finally...hello!

After one month on Bombay (or has it been more)...i finally decide to write in my first bit on bombay :D

For me, the Bombay experience is hardly about the city at all. It represents so much that I've been craving for for the longest time - some independence, some personal space, doing things as I please and how I please - just that sense of absolute control over my own life. The fact that this city actually has a lot of avenues to 'live it up' is a great plus!

So even though, like most of the bit-writers I spend most of my waking hours in office, just the fact that the rest of my time is purely mine practically intoxicating. Add to this the fact that, like Mem says, Bombay has more room or spontaneity than any other city in this country. Feel like a dance? a movie? a drink? its just a cab ride away..morning noon or night.

So much more to say but terms of emplyment require that I actually work. More bits to come...ciao!

Checking off the list

Ink is leaving Bombay in almost a month's time and she's drawing up lists of things to do before she leaves. So as part of the endeavour, we visited Linking Road and Hill Road the other day and contributed to the economy, buying you will only find there. We shall hopefully achieve everything on her list before she leaves, including Essel World on a weekday (snigger if you like but I think it's part of the Bombay experience).

Another thing we ticked off was China House on a Friday night. Celebrating Ink's birthday and Alice's new job, we decided to visit what is supposedly Bombay's most happening club. We strode in (Ink's name having been on the guest list we could walk in with appropriate authority) at 1 am on Saturday morning, dressed in our Bombay chic along with an office bedraggled UK, having tanked up on food and alcohol at dinner earlier that night. By way of amusement, it rated a 2.5 on my scale. With very average music, throngs of Bombay college kids, startlingly little eye candy, I can safely say we gave it a try and decided the experience was over and left about an hour later. By way of introductions though, we welcome Alice to our world now and hope that she will call this city home for a while :)

What's next on the list ladies?